She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
