She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
