You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
