Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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