why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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