trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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