He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
