We're facebook friends in real life
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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