Whod you bang
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
