and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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