my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
