Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
