I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
