we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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