HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
