I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
