I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She said her name was "party"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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