its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize