Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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