I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
