your parents love me but you hate me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Floor bacon is actually really good
He did a backflip because drugs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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