Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
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i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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