Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
