ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
