thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
