I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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