Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
