singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
