Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
