Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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