I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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