you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This is my gift to your gina
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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