Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
