I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
