Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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