My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Couch. On fire.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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