i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
