But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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