Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
