She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
