just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
