ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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