He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize