my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
