I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
