He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
