Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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