oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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