p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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