it wasn't lemon gatorade
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
