She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
