he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
