You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
