Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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