Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
