You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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