thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
