I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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