Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
