she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
