If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize