he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
