I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
