You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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