you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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