I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
