Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
